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Old Folks Jokes

February 06, 2015

These "old folks" jokes are fun  :-))
   especially now that I feel old :-((

I've got some puns at
Think I will post text old folks jokes.

Probably not Maxine picture jokes,
   even though I love 'em
   'cause that is more "work".

-Ed Thelen

PS  I'm making the font size large because - you know -
Table of Contents

Last Trip to Publix... - From: Mitchell Allies < >
- From my sister-in-law in DC -


Yesterday I was at The Village Publix buying a large bag of Purina dog chow
 for my loyal pet, Owen the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out line
 when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that
 no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that
 I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but 
 that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
 tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it
 works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat
 one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is
    nutritionally complete, (certified), 
 so it works well and I was going to try it again.  (I have to mention here
 that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
 food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant
 and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
 laughing so hard.

Publix won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. 

If you have comments or suggestions, Send e-mail to Ed Thelen

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